why can't i crochet?

So I probably enjoy finding patterns more than I enjoy making them. One issue is probably because knitting bulks up relatively slow, unlike crochet, which works up fast. Also, I just found I hat that I really really really want(http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=195823.msg2068448#msg2068448)

Now I have a friend who crochets, but I kinda don't want to ask her to make it only because we are both extremely competitive with our crafting and I don't want her ti get the idea that crocheting is better than knitting....also recently she broke down and learned to knit, while I still *kinda* can crochet....but not well at all (you do not want to see my granny square attempts). This girl also already made the shawl for my mother's wedding that I was gonna do, but then couldn't find the perfect knit pattern. I was gonna make her one thing that actually never got done (first I made mine and realized that I HATED the pattern, and could not pull myself to make another in the color she wanted)

Also, while knitting patterns can be hard enough to read, I swear you have to be a super spy or something to decipher a pattern for crochet.